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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26326843">Rebuild</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEigthPillarGeneral/pseuds/TheEigthPillarGeneral'>TheEigthPillarGeneral</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Feels, Guilt, M/M, Rebuilding, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:41:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26326843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEigthPillarGeneral/pseuds/TheEigthPillarGeneral</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After over a thousand years of distance and awkwardness, Bazz-B and Jugram Haschwalth have been given another chance to live. With them and a few other Sternritters surviving the Blood War, they must now assist the Gotei in restoring the Seireitei as part of peace negotiations between the Shinigami and the Quincy.</p><p>For Bazz-B, it's a blessing he's truly grateful to have. Yet for Jugram, it's a punishment that makes him distance himself from his old friend even more than ever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bazz-B/Jugram Haschwalth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Rebuild</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I had so many feels over these two again, so I've written something a bit more angsty for them. Honestly, if they survived the war, I feel that Jugram would feel like he didn't deserve Bazz-B because of how things went down between them, even though Bazz-B thinks otherwise, and this would lead to more awkwardness and tension between them.</p><p>I also kinda want to write some stuff about the German quincies experiencing a bit of culture shock in the Japanese Soul Society as they try to get used to certain things, honestly. I think it could be pretty interesting to write.</p><p>I hope you all enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The shihakusho feels so strangely loose on Jugram’s body, and the straw sandals also feel odd on his sock-clad feet. How the shinigami are able to wear such a uniform on a regular basis, he won’t ever understand.</p><p>And he’s not the only surviving Sternritter who’s had some difficulty in wearing a shihakusho after a thousand years of wearing a white uniform.</p><p>Bambietta, Candice, Liltotto, Giselle, Meninas, and Bazz-B have also had a few issues with the shihakusho. However, it’s what they’re supposed to wear while they’re living in the Seireitei. </p><p>Now that the war has ended, and only a small handful of Sternritter surviving the Auswählen, Captain-General Kyoraku Shunsui had sought to better the relations between the shinigami and the quincies. Thus, he had decided that the surviving Sternritters must assist in rebuilding the Seireitei, and in return, the shinigami would help them rebuild the Vandenreich.</p><p>It’s a fair deal, and with Yhwach destroyed and Jugram now the acting Quincy leader, he had chosen to accept it.</p><p>However, he hadn’t really expected that Kyoraku would assign them to different Gotei divisions, and he certainly didn’t expect to be assigned to the Sixth Division, the same one that Bazz-B has been assigned to.</p><p><em> Why did he assign me in the same division as Bazz? </em> Jugram wonders to himself as he and Bazz-B assist Captain Kuchiki Byakuya and Lieutenant Abarai Renji in coordinating some repairs on damaged buildings. <em> Is this really a good idea? </em></p><p>What does Bazz-B think of him right now? Does he loathe him for turning his back on him and joining Yhwach’s side? Does he hate him for how much their friendship had crumbled?</p><p>Jugram hazards a glance at Bazz-B while setting down some wooden planks, only to see that his eyes are focused on the task of bringing building supplies over to the unseated shinigami.</p><p>
  <em> What are you thinking right now, Bazz? </em>
</p><p>It’s normally easy for him to know what Bazz-B is thinking, yet strangely enough, Jugram doesn’t even know what’s going through his mind right now. </p><p>It definitely doesn’t help that he hasn’t spoken to Bazz-B since their brutal fight during the war. When he learned that Bazz-B had managed to survive, Jugram had been truly happy, yet at the same time, he felt ashamed.</p><p>“Is something the matter?”</p><p>Jugram looks up to see Kuchiki Byakuya standing right before him. Realizing what he just asked, he shakes his head.</p><p>“Nothing is wrong, captain,” he says.</p><p>“Well, I wanted to let you know that Abarai has brought some taiyaki for everyone to enjoy,” Kuchiki tells him. “If you’re hungry, perhaps you should have some before we resume work.”</p><p>Jugram nods and stands up. “Thank you.”</p><p>He goes over to where Abarai Renji is passing around some kind of fish-shaped snack from a bag to the others, including Bazz-B.</p><p>“Oi, what’s this?” Bazz-B wonders, looking at the snack. “Don’t tell me this tastes like fish?”</p><p>Abarai laughs. “It’s called ‘taiyaki’,” he explains. “It’s a fish-shaped pancake with a sweet red bean paste filling. Give it a try, it’s very good.”</p><p>Bazz-B just raises an eyebrow and takes a bite before frowning slightly.</p><p>“Not as sweet as I thought it would be,” he admits after finishing his bite. “But I guess it’s pretty good.”</p><p>“Glad to hear that!”</p><p>Then, Abarai comes over to Jugram, offering him the bag.</p><p>“Want some taiyaki?” he offers.</p><p>Jugram nods slowly. “I suppose I could try some,” he concedes, taking one from the bag. “Thank you.”</p><p>As he’s about to take a bite, Jugram notices Bazz-B approaching him from the corner of his eye.</p><p>“So…” Bazz-B begins, standing next to him. “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?”</p><p>“I suppose so,” Jugram agrees, taking a bite of the taiyaki.</p><p>Bazz-B is right. It’s not as sweet as Abarai had said, but it’s very subtle. It’s certainly a sharp contrast to traditional Quincy sweets that Jugram has had on very rare occasions, but it’s still good in its own way.</p><p>“Abarai’s a really cool guy,” Bazz-B continues. “I’m glad we got assigned to his division. Though I still can’t really believe he actually works for someone like Kuchiki Byakuya.”</p><p>Why does Bazz-B sound so casual and friendly right now? Why is he talking to Jugram as though they’re still friends? Surely he shouldn’t want anything to do with him, right?</p><p><em> Don’t be so kind to me, Bazz… </em> Jugram thinks to himself, holding his right arm as he looks down. <em> I don’t deserve it. </em></p><p>Not after he’d willingly left him to become the successor for an emperor who doesn’t care for his subjects over a thousand years ago. And certainly not after leaving him for dead like how he’d done during the war.</p><p>However, he stays silent before he decides to get back to work.</p><p>“I’m going back to help,” Jugram says quietly, handing the taiyaki to Bazz-B. “You can have this. I’m not very hungry.”</p><p>Without letting Bazz-B get a word in, Jugram hurries over to resume his task at restoring the building again, trying to ignore the ache in his heart.</p><p>He doesn’t deserve Bazz-B’s friendship anymore. Even if Jugram had been fortunate enough to somehow survive the Auswählen, he knows that he deserves Bazz-B’s hatred and anger for everything that happened between them. If he must distance himself again, if he must push Bazz-B away, so be it. </p><p>It’s a suitable punishment that he is content to live with for the rest of his life.</p><p>If only Bazz-B would show him that kind of hatred as well, it would be so much easier for him.</p><p><em> No more. </em> He thinks to himself, his hands trembling slightly. <em> Just stay away from me, Bazz-B. I don’t deserve you, your forgiveness, or your friendship. Please understand that. </em></p><p>So then… why does his heart hurt at the thought of Bazz-B hating him?</p><hr/><p>Bazz-B stares at Jugo’s retreating figure, still a little bewildered over how suddenly he’d left to go back to help the other shinigami in repairs.</p><p>What’s happened to him now? Why is he suddenly so morose? He’s one of the lucky ones to survive the purge, and yet he still looks so… sad.</p><p>They haven’t had a proper conversation in a long time; hell, the last time they’d even spoken to each other had been during the war, when they’d fought each other to the bitter end. </p><p>When Bazz-B had learned that Jugo had been caught in the Auswählen, he’d been devastated at first. But for him to survive had been a blessing, and he’d even started to feel hope for the first time in a thousand years.</p><p>Perhaps he and Jugo can rebuild their friendship again. Maybe things can be better between them. Maybe he can apologize for all the mistakes he’d made, and then maybe… maybe he can confess his true feelings to him.</p><p>So why is Jugo pushing him away now? Is he still trying to adjust to the Seireitei and the weirdly-loose shihakusho? Or is he just trying to stay focused on work?</p><p><em> Maybe I’ll leave him alone for now. </em> Bazz-B concedes as he gets back to work. <em> He’ll probably get better by tonight. </em></p><p>The rest of the day goes by, and by the time evening rolls around, they’ve made good progress on repairs. And while most of the shinigami still seem a little mistrustful of Bazz-B and Jugo, some of them are slowly warming up to them, perhaps because of Abarai’s efforts in trying to be nice to them.</p><p>However, things with Jugo have only stagnated even further.</p><p>Tonight’s dinner is a traditional Japanese-style meal, with rice, miso soup, some sashimi, among other things. The flavours are very different from what Bazz-B is used to, but it still tastes pretty good.</p><p>Bazz-B has taken to sitting with Abarai during meal times in the mess hall, seeing as he’s the only shinigami he’s actually familiar with. Plus, Abarai is a cool dude, even if he’d compared him to a rooster back then.</p><p>After he’s taken his dinner tray, Bazz-B notices Jugo pouring himself some tea at the drinks stand and decides to try again.</p><p>“What kind of tea is that?” Bazz-B asks, approaching the stand.</p><p>“Matcha,” Jugo says without looking up from his tray.</p><p>“Oi, don’t go yet!” Bazz-B tells him, making him pause. “You wanna sit with Abarai and me tonight? I’m sure you might like his company.”</p><p>Jugo just shakes his head. “I’m afraid I cannot,” he says. “I’m going to take dinner in Captain Kuchiki’s office, since he requested I help out with some paperwork.”</p><p>With that, he exits the mess hall with his tray, leaving Bazz-B speechless and confused all over again.</p><p>Frowning, Bazz-B goes over to Abarai’s table and sits down, still in disbelief.</p><p>Just what the fuck is Jugo’s problem now? Why is he avoiding him like this?</p><p>“Jeez, that’s quite a frown,” Abarai remarks, interrupting Bazz-B’s thoughts. “What’s bothering you?”</p><p>Bazz-B shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”</p><p>He picks up his chopsticks and tries to hold them properly, only for his fingers to fumble a bit. “Dammit…” he curses. “How the hell do you even use these things?!”</p><p>Abarai chuckles. “Just follow my lead,” he says.</p><p>He shows him how to hold the chopsticks and use them properly, though he makes it look so easy. Bazz-B eventually gets the hang of it, but it’s still difficult for him after a thousand years of using a fork.</p><p>“I saw you talking with that other quincy, Haschwalth,” Abarai tells him. “You two seem rather close.”</p><p>Bazz-B raises an eyebrow in surprise. How the hell was Abarai able to decipher that so easily?</p><p>“I mean, I guess we are,” he admits. “Jugo and I… we grew up together as kids, before he was chosen as Yhwach’s successor.”</p><p>Abarai nods slowly, looking a little thoughtful. “I never knew that,” he says. “You fought him during the war, didn’t you?”</p><p>Bazz-B looks down. “Yeah, I did,” he says.</p><p>Now that Abarai has brought it up, Bazz-B’s thoughts wander to Jugo and the way he’s been avoiding him today. He wouldn’t look him in the eyes, but Bazz-B had caught a glimpse of some kind of sadness… at least he thinks he did.</p><p>Fortunately, Abarai doesn’t say anything more about it, though he does regard Bazz-B with a strange kind of curiosity. But it continues to haunt Bazz-B as he finishes up with dinner and heads back to the barracks for the night.</p><p><em> What’s going through your head, Jugo? </em> Bazz-B wonders to himself. <em> I wish you could just talk to me. </em></p><p>This is supposed to be their second chance at life, isn’t it? So why is Jugo pushing him away like how he did all those years ago?</p><p>Hopefully whatever is making him act so distant is just a temporary setback, and things will go back to normal between them. Or at least, they can start to mend things between them.</p><hr/><p>Jugram had thought that his aloof behaviour from that day would’ve helped push Bazz-B away, but it seems like he’d forgotten the kind of person his old friend is. Days have turned into weeks, almost half a month has gone by, and Bazz-B hasn’t given up on him at all.</p><p>The more he tries to avoid him, the more Bazz-B persists in trying to reach out to him. Why Bazz-B is even bothering with him, he has no idea. Surely he must know that he deserves a better friend, does he not?</p><p>Even worse, Jugram can see it in Bazz-B’s eyes. While Bazz-B mostly looks angry whenever he avoids him, there’s an undercurrent of hurt in his eyes, and it makes his own heart hurt so much.</p><p>
  <em> Why must you try so hard, Bazz? Surely you must realize that I don’t deserve you at all. </em>
</p><p>Thoughts like these have been running through Jugram’s head for some time now, tormenting him day and night. And yet, even though he tries to convince himself that he is undeserving of Bazz-B’s forgiveness, it only worsens the loneliness that plagues him every night.</p><p>If anyone has noticed this kind of tension between them, they don’t say anything about it, though Jugram has recently noticed Kuchiki regarding him with concern.</p><p>And now, Bazz-B has been trying even harder to get him to talk, even resorting to cornering him away from other people to interrogate him.</p><p>Jugram sighs quietly as he gets up from the desk, having finished a stack of paperwork at last. Now, he’s going to take a quick walk before getting back to work.</p><p>However, as he enters the loggia that overlooks the Sixth Division training grounds, Jugram suddenly feels himself pulled away by the arm.</p><p>“Wha-?!”</p><p>He’s pulled into an empty storage room and it all happens much too fast for him to react. By the time he realizes what’s going on, Jugram has been pinned to the closed door and is now face-to-face with an angry Bazz-B.</p><p>For some reason, Jugram’s heart beats a little faster at how close they are, but he tries to compose himself even as Bazz-B’s glare pierces through him.</p><p>“What do you think you’re doing?” Jugram asks sternly. “Release me now, Bazz-B. I won’t be manhandled like this.”</p><p>“Fuck off with that,” Bazz-B snarls, his grip on his shoulders tightening. “What the hell is your problem? It’s been almost half a month and you’ve been avoiding me for no reason at all!”</p><p>Jugram refuses to be affected by the anger in his words, and so he regards him much more firmly.</p><p>“You forget who you are talking to,” he says frostily. “I’m now the leader of the quincies, and I refuse to be spoken to so rudely.”</p><p>If it’s possible, Bazz-B seems to get even more angry now.</p><p>“Cut the crap, Jugo,” he says, and that old nickname is enough to send a jolt of pain through Jugram’s heart again. “I thought we were trying to rebuild things. So why aren’t you letting me talk to you? Why do you always leave whenever I try to approach you?! Why won’t you let me in, Jugo?!”</p><p>Jugram flinches beneath his tightening grip and he looks down, trying to hide the sadness that comes back again.</p><p>Why can’t Bazz-B just give up and accept that he doesn’t deserve him?</p><p>His hands tremble, and Jugram swallows the lump in his throat.</p><p>“Jugo?” Bazz-B sounds a little confused now.</p><p>“How dare you…” Jugram raises his head to regard Bazz-B with such a withering gaze. “Release me right now. I won’t say it twice.”</p><p>Bazz-B releases him, too stunned to react now. “Jugo, what’s-”</p><p>“Don’t talk to me ever again.” His words are filled with so much venom and anger as he opens the door. “Don’t come near me, don’t even look at me anymore. Know your place, Bazzard Black, or else I will punish you for your insolence.”</p><p>With that, he turns and storms out of the storage room. </p><p>Yet the moment he enters the loggia, a sharp pang of regret strikes his heart.</p><p>How could he have spoken so cruelly to Bazz-B like that? Was it really necessary to be so cold and hurtful towards him? Bazz-B has been nothing but considerate and thoughtful towards him this past while, and this is how he repays him.</p><p>Even if it hadn’t been necessary, Bazz-B must surely hate him now.</p><p>And yet, knowing that doesn’t make Jugram feel any better at all.</p><p>Gingerly, he places his hand over his heart as if trying to stop the pain, only for his eyes to blur slightly.</p><p>
  <em> So it seems I still have some tears left within me.  </em>
</p><p>All Jugram can do is blink back the tears in his eyes as a bitter smile crosses his face.</p><p>Even if he wants to go back and say sorry, it’s surely too late. And there’s nothing he can do about it.</p><hr/><p>Things have only gotten even worse between them.</p><p>What Bazz-B had believed to be a minor setback has now turned into something more pathological, ever since he got spoken to so coldly in the storage room. Jugo has been avoiding him more and more, refusing to even look at him, let alone talk to him, and Bazz-B still doesn’t even know what the hell is going on.</p><p>He keeps his distance from Jugo, but it doesn’t do anything to quell his worry for him. And it certainly doesn’t help that he can’t read Jugo’s face or see what he’s thinking about.</p><p>Is he stressed with trying to be a leader while working with the shinigami? Or is it something else that’s making him act like this? Whatever it is, Bazz-B doesn’t think he’ll ever be at peace until he figures out what’s going on.</p><p>Tonight, Abarai has invited him to join him and some other lieutenants to a bar they normally go to at the end of a busy week. To be honest, Bazz-B had been a little surprised to learn that the shinigami know how to have fun, but he’s certainly not complaining.</p><p>Especially after learning that the lady Sternritters would be there as well.</p><p>The bar is surprisingly more modern than he’d expected, and most of the food and drinks being served are all traditional Japanese stuff. But the atmosphere is cheery and welcoming, and all the lieutenants are pretty friendly, so it’s actually quite nice.</p><p>It almost reminds him of the Sternritters’ usual haunt in Silbern, where he and several other quincies would drink beer and party at the end of a busy week.</p><p>Bazz-B takes a sip of sake and frowns slightly, noting how it’s warm and slightly sweet.</p><p>“This tastes… different,” he observes. “But I guess it’s nice.”</p><p>Abarai smirks. “This is Rangiku-san’s favourite kind of sake,” he tells him. “She’s always got good taste in alcohol.”</p><p>“Well, what can I say?” Matsumoto Rangiku asks, waving her cup a little drunkenly. “I always know how to party!”</p><p>“That you do…” Hisagi Shuuhei agrees, blushing from how much cleavage she shows.</p><p>It’s kinda strange to see how much the shinigami support and trust each other. Bazz-B can’t really remember when he’s seen the Sternritter being so trusting with each other, even during peacetime.</p><p>While the rest of the shinigami continue talking about their work day, Bazz-B finds himself speaking with Bambietta, Candice, Giselle, Liltotto, and Meninas about the divisions they’ve been assigned to.</p><p>“What’s the Sixth Division like?” Liltotto asks, looking at Bazz-B. “That’s the one with the lieutenant whose eyebrows you liked, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s the one,” Bazz-B says. “I don’t understand how Abarai’s able to work with a captain like Kuchiki Byakuya, but they seem to get along fine.”</p><p>“What about Haschwalth?” Candice asks. “How’s he coping?”</p><p>“I… I don’t really know,” Bazz-B admits.</p><p>He tunes out the conversation as his mind wanders back to Jugo and how he’s been acting so weirdly. Yes, he’s always been a bit anti-social back in the Vandenreich, rarely ever spending time with the rest of the Sternritter outside of their duties, but this is even stranger than ever.</p><p>Bazz-B sighs and gets up from the booth. “I’m gonna step outside for a bit,” he mutters.</p><p>He heads outside through the back exit, looking up at the night sky. The noise of the bar is a little distant now, but it still doesn’t quell his worries.</p><p>He runs a hand through his Mohawk and sighs.</p><p>“Oi, what are you doing out here?”</p><p>To his surprise, Abarai has come to stand next to him, looking a little curious and concerned.</p><p>Bazz-B just shakes his head.</p><p>However, Abarai continues to speak.</p><p>“Having troubles with Haschwalth?” he asks.</p><p>Bazz-B blinks now, looking at him in surprise. “How did you-”</p><p>“I mean, it’s kind of obvious,” Abarai points out. “He’s avoiding you, you’re confused about it, and it’s only making things more awkward for the both of you. Did you guys have a fight?”</p><p><em> Well, he’s a lot more perceptive than I’d thought… </em>Bazz-B thinks to himself.</p><p>Looking down, he nods.</p><p>“I guess we did,” he says, folding his arms across his chest. “We used to be friends, but it ended badly when Yhwach chose him as his successor. I’ll admit, I was still a bit of a brat and I was angry that he was chosen, since his skills hadn’t been as developed back then. Since then, we’ve been kind of distant. And I guess our fight didn’t help that much either.”</p><p>Abarai remains silent as he listens to him, looking thoughtful.</p><p>“You really should talk it out,” Abarai tells him at last. “If you don’t, things will only get worse. I know this from experience.”</p><p>Bazz-B regards him in surprise. Looks like he and Abarai are a lot more similar than he’d thought.</p><p>“Oh, yeah? What’s your story?” he asks.</p><p>“It’s a long one,” Abarai says. “Got separated from my childhood friend when she was adopted by my captain, worked my ass off to become his lieutenant so I could be worthy of her, and a lot more complications happened before we finally reunited.”</p><p>“At least your captain’s a decent man,” Bazz-B says. “I don’t think you’d be as lucky if your friend was adopted by someone like Yhwach.”</p><p>“Fair enough.”</p><p>The two of them stand in silence a little longer before Abarai stands upright again.</p><p>“Go on and talk to him,” he encourages, patting his shoulder. “I’m sure things will work out.”</p><p>As Abarai heads back into the bar, Bazz-B just smiles faintly.</p><p>“Thanks, Abarai,” he murmurs. “I owe you one now.”</p><p>With his resolve set in stone once more, he heads back to the Sixth Division barracks towards Jugo’s room, ready to speak with him at last.</p><hr/><p>Jugram stares out at the moon, sighing quietly as he sits up in bed, dressed in a plain white yukata. Sleeping on the floor is still something he has to get used to, but that’s not what’s bothering him tonight.</p><p>He hasn’t spoken with Bazz-B since that day in the storage room a month ago, and never has he felt worse than he does right now. It seems like his resolve to have nothing to do with Bazz-B is weakening as the days go by.</p><p>It’s never been more clear until now. No matter how much he tries to convince himself that he doesn’t deserve Bazz-B… he has never yearned for him as much as he does right now.</p><p>It doesn’t help that his nightmares have gotten worse. No, he doesn’t dream of their fateful fight, of when he’d thought he would die from the Auswählen. He dreams of happier days from over a thousand years ago, when it was just him and Bazz-B against the whole world.</p><p>If this is how he intends to punish himself… it’s more than he can take. It’s <em> pure torture.  </em></p><p>Oh, how he wants to go to Bazz-B’s room and apologize, but he doesn’t even know what to say to him. What <em> could </em> he say anyways, after speaking to him so harshly?</p><p>Suddenly, he senses a brief trace of Bazz-B’s reiatsu, shortly before he hears a knock on the door.</p><p>Jugram frowns and gets up from the futon, sliding the door open only to step back a little in surprise.</p><p>“Bazz-B?” he whispers, staring at him in shock.</p><p>Bazz-B looks surprisingly hesitant. “Can I… Can I come in?” he asks.</p><p>Jugram nods slowly, stepping aside. “You may,” he says quietly.</p><p>He watches as Bazz-B enters before closing the door behind him. Silence hangs between them for a long moment as Jugram looks down, unsure of what to say now.</p><p>“Abarai Renji noticed the awkwardness between us,” Bazz-B tells him tersely. “He and I talked about it a few hours ago, and he told me to talk to you.”</p><p>He turns to face him, only to stop in surprise.</p><p>“Oi, Jugo… are you crying?” he asks.</p><p>“... what?” Jugram slowly raises his hand to his cheeks, only to feel the tears that stain them.</p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong?” Bazz-B looks so concerned and it only makes Jugram’s heart ache even stronger than ever.</p><p><em> Don’t be so kind to me, Bazz… </em>He pleads to himself.</p><p>“Talk to me, Jugo…” Bazz-B is now a lot closer to him, and his fingers wipe the tears away with such heartbreaking tenderness. “Why are you pushing me away like this?”</p><p>Jugram shakes his head before looking down sadly. “I’m…” He clears his throat. “I’m sorry, Bazz. I’m so sorry for all the harsh words I’ve said to you. You… You deserve better than me.”</p><p>Bazz-B regards him with sadness and hurt. “What do you mean by that?”</p><p>“Surely you must hate me,” Jugram begs. “I willingly joined Yhwach’s side and let things fall apart between us. I don’t deserve your friendship or kindness, Bazz-B. I’ve been trying so hard to keep my distance because you deserve better, but it’s so hard when you treat me so kindly!”</p><p>Now, Bazz-B looks even more surprised. “Wait… what?”</p><p>Jugram feels more tears in his eyes now. “Why are you still so nice to me, Bazz?” he asks, so desperately that it scares him. “Do you not hate me for abandoning you and our promise together? Do you not loathe me for leaving you for dead? Do you not hate me for how cold I was back in the storage room?”</p><p>“What the hell are you talking about, Jugo?!” Bazz-B sounds disbelieving now. “You think pushing me away will make me feel better?! You think doing that will help you atone or something?! That’s bullshit!”</p><p>Suddenly, Jugram is pulled into a warm hug, and he tenses up in shock.</p><p>Bazz-B feels so warm, his arms are so gentle around him, and for a moment, Jugram doesn’t know what to do. He hasn’t felt this kind of tender care in almost a thousand years, but slowly, he circles his arms around Bazz-B’s back as more tears slide down his cheeks.</p><p>
  <em> Oh, how I’ve missed him…  </em>
</p><p>“I’ve missed you so much, Jugo,” Bazz-B tells him gently. “Now that we’ve gotten another chance at living, I wanna make up for lost time. I've made my own mistakes, and I want to make it up to you as well.”</p><p>Jugram nods, his heart fluttering slightly. “So does this mean…?”</p><p>Bazz-B pulls away and caresses Jugram’s cheeks. “I’ve already forgiven you, Jugo,” he tells him. “And I'm sorry for how I've hurt you. So please, don’t push me away anymore.”</p><p>Somehow, hearing this feels like a heavy weight has been removed from Jugram’s shoulders. He smiles through his tears as he nods, his heart soaring when Bazz-B smiles back at him.</p><p>Then, before he realizes, Bazz-B's lips are on his as he kisses him.</p><p>His lips are warm and tender, and Jugram leans into the kiss as his eyes slide shut. His heart is still racing, and for the first time in a long while, he begins to feel… hopeful.</p><p>That night, Bazz-B sleeps in Jugram’s room, curled up next to him beneath the blanket and holding him in his warm and soothing embrace. Jugram can’t help the smile that crosses his face as he leans up and kisses his forehead, watching the way he smiles in his sleep.</p><p>“You mean everything to me, Bazz…” he whispers, holding him close.</p><p>Things might have fallen apart between them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be rebuilt. It will take time, but surely they can go back to how they used to be, though with a much deeper dimension to their bond.</p><p>But for now, Jugram is content to hold Bazz-B close, and be held by him, until the morning sun rose once more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Honestly, this story had been a little difficult to write, but I'm glad I managed in the end. I just wanted to hug these two so badly, especially since Jugram was practically tearing himself apart with guilt.</p><p>Please let me know how I did, and have a good one!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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